That's running around in my head already - I think that's well worth working on.

It's a really interesting idea to use "we praise you, we bless you..." as the chorus - I don't see why that wouldn't get through (although I guess they might object to it not being in the correct place in the verse as well?).  From my reading of the guidelines, I don't think they'd have an issue with the added 'O' and the repeat (but that's just my guess!).

I went to a session a while ago run by Paul Inwood where he spent most of the time going through the first line of lots of different settings of the Gloria, pointing out the various different ways composers have tried to get round the awkwardness in that line.  There were lots of different solutions, and none of them were all that great!

One thing I've noticed that seems to come out in many of the settings I've heard, including this one and the one I've written, is repetition of a very short bit of melody throughout the verses.  I guess that comes out of the structure of the text.  I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing or neither!

Youthwork do a podcast - there's no reason why you can't do CatholicYouthWork.com: The Podcast. Interview Catholic 'personalities', priests or youth work practitioners, perhaps!

By the way, a good effort and a good voice, I thought. I've tried in the past to write Christian/liturgical music I was never much good at it, so I have great admiration for those who can. As for the Gloria, even in reciting it, the meter that was there previously has gone and I can sympathise with the difficulties that composers now face. At least with the Gloria there may be a movement by parishes toward non-metrical compositions if, as you say, most are simply car-crashes!